My blog has turned into me always venting it seems. It hit me today, as we go into Thanksgiving week, how hard the holidays are gonna be this year. It is like I can find any reason to be reminded that my daughter isn't here. On the only shopping trip that I ever took Tess on, my mom and I bought her a few first Christmas outfits. I thought of those sweet things and how they were just in my storage unit packed away. I don't know why the memory of that shopping trip and the thought of those outfits made me want to die. Tess will not get to have a first Christmas with us and I won't get to have a first Christmas with her. I feel like my soul is constantly being pulled in two directions. I want to be with my children here and I know that they need me, but I also long to be with my daughter who isn't here. The anger and longing is enough to make me crazy. I literally feel sometimes like I am losing my mind. I didn't know a person could feel such heartache and cry so many tears.
If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
~Author Unknown
1 comment:
Hi Jordan,
You have been on my mind. I wanted to wish you and your dear family a Merry Christmas. You are in our thoughts and prayers my dear friend. We are so excited for you and the bundle of joy that is headed your way.
Much Love,
jennifer
Post a Comment