Just had the most amazing thing happen tonight. I was listening to a song and especially to the lyrics that have really touched me. The first two verses are:
When you lose something,
it's all that you want back.
You waited patiently.
But it don't work like that.
When you lose someone,
the first thing that goes through your head,
is if you run fast enough,
you just might catch up.
But it don't work like that
At the exact moment that I was singing along with these lyrics and lamenting the past, I felt this new life in my womb move. It was the most surreal experience and very humbling. I have learned that the Lord doesn't always work like you want him to either. I have questioned Him so much over the last several months and just when it feels like He is not there for me....I am brought to my knees by Him once again.
This life that we are all living doesn't make sense to us at times and I am here to tell you that if you try to understand it all on your own, you will never. You have to surrender to the Lord because He is the one that knows what is best. Eight months ago a life was taken from our family and just a few short months later a life was created. I have to faith that this is how the plan was supposed to happen.
I feel extremely blessed for all of the blessings that I have. I have a good husband and two darling little girls. I have wonderful parents who have always stood beside me. I have a Heavenly Father who is there for me even when I have turned my back on Him so many times the last several months. In 2011 the main thing that I am going to try to do is to surrender my will to Him. I am thankful that He always gives me a second chance.
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