My Cup Is Half Full

I hope that none of you has ever lost a child. I pray that you never will. I still wish everyday that my 2 month old daughter had not died that morning of SIDS. I have laid in bed, staring at the wall for countless hours since this has happened wondering why? I have screamed, yelled, cried more than I knew any person could and felt sorry for myself. I have asked myself what good came out of all this sadness and tragedy. For months there wasn't one thing good that I could or would say that I had learned from this. Last week was my little girl's first birthday. For many weeks I have been so scared for this milestone to get here. It came and I handled it so much better than I ever could have imagined. I also decided to try and think about what blessings, if any have come from all of this. The first thing I thought of is the lessons that Tess's passing has taught to my children. They have learned more compassion and love for each other and for their family. I think that at a young age they know as much as they can understand that life shouldn't be taken for granted. Another thing that came to mind was how much my marriage and relationship with my sweet husband Bryan has been strengthened over this past year. Lots of families and couples don't withstand this type of tragedy. We have only become closer and I feel our marriage is so much richer because of what we have been through together. I love him so much and have been so blessed to have him as my partner these past ten years. Tonight as I write this, I still feel an immense sorrow in my heart and soul. On the bright side there are starting to be glimpses of joy again and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for that. Right now I have decided that my cup is half full!