
It feels so unnatural to me to continue living when two of my children are dead. It feels like I should just lie down and die. There are many moments that I want to. I probably spend more moments wanting to die right now than I do wanting to live. I can't though. Everyone around tells me I can't. I know I can't, but right now I just don't have the fight in me to want to go on. I am trying. For my three here, I am trying. Trying to get that fight back.
I absolutely feel spent. I do not know how I am going to do this again. I miss him so much. I miss his sister so much. This feels like too much for one heart to take. Too much for one mother to bear. Why would God think that I could do this again? Why would He ask this of me? This is what I am asking myself every minute of every day. Please continue to pray for me.....for us. :)

3 comments:
Oh Jordan, I pray and think of your guys all the time. My heart hurts for you, Brian and your kids. I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this again. It isn't fair one bit. I'm really so so sad.
Love your honesty. We can't imagine what you're going through, but know that Aaron and I think of you guys and pray for you often. Stay strong, you are an inspiration to many.
Jordan, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS! Sharon
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