Our little boy Saylor will be nine weeks old tomorrow. Since Tess passed away at ten weeks, I am finding myself comparing them a lot. He definitely is more beefy than her and weighs more. He is the blondest baby that I have had so far and is the only one that has had blue eyes. They both seem to have pretty calm personalities and even at times they both seem serious. Tess had just started cooing a little just a week or so before she died. Today before Bryan went to work, Saylor started talking to us and it totally reminded me of those last few days that we had with her. I wonder sometimes and have even whispered in his ear, "Did you know your Tessie?" What I wouldn't give to pick his brain for just a minute. Taking care of him, totally takes me back to memories of her. This has been really sad at times, but I just thought today what a blessing this is. I think that different things that he does triggers memories of her which I might have totally forgotten. I feel so blessed to be able to care for this sweet baby boy and to go through this infant stage all again. Who could ever understand this life that we live. I am trying to just hang on and enjoy this crazy, wonderful, tragic, beautiful, heartbreaking, heart healing life of ours.
2 comments:
I love that last sentance. it seems thats what we all need to be doing...
You certainly amaze me. I hope I would be as strong as you...
Thank you for your comments on my blog. I am always so sad when I meet someone else that has experienced what we have, its not fair. Tess was a beautiful baby. Saylor is the cutest little guy, I hope that this next week things go okay and you are is able to relax as you pass this milestone. I am sure I am going to have a hard time as Teague gets close to the day that my baby died.
Yes, I am LDS also!
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